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Old 01-05-2016, 08:32 PM View Post #1 (Link) Space Hotel - Pilot
ScottyMcGee (Offline)
Freelance Writer
 
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,754
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 176
Pilot script for a machinima I'm directing.

Few things - This is set around 3,000 A.D. at a floating establishment in a dome called Space Hotel. We follow Job McCony's first day as the front desk clerk.

People in the future have "pads", which is basically an iPad, but it's become so commonplace by then that they're just called pads.

In case you don't know any script lingo -
ad lib - basically means make up something, like improvise

V.O. - stands for voiceover, meaning that you don't see the character at the moment that they are speaking, you are just hearing their voice.

Everyone's name is capitalized, so unless it's noted otherwise, they're not constantly screaming names.

THE PLAYERS:

Job
Spoiler:



Mally
Spoiler:


Krikkit
Spoiler:



Topps
Spoiler:



Frank
Spoiler:


Chett
Spoiler:



Livia
Spoiler:


Trisha (no drawing of her yet)

Watkins (no drawing of him yet)

Marvin (no drawing of him yet)

All artwork by Sarah Rodriguez

I plan on releasing this machinima on Youtube or something like that. So it's not like the script is being sent to any important people - but regardless I wrote it as close to a screenplay format as I bothered.

Putting the screenplay on here was a bitch and a half. Copying a screenplay and pasting it on here pushes everything to the left without spacing. God I hated reformatting this.This is probably the only time I'll ever post a script.




Space Hotel - Pilot

Story by Scotty McGee

Screenplay by Scotty McGee and Captain Crazy
-----------------------------------------------------------------
INTERIOR: FRANK’S OFFICE

WE BEGIN WITH A BLACK SCREEN

FRANK
(V.O.)
You’re hired!

CUT TO CLOSE UP OF JOB’S FACE

JOB is blank. Almost dumbfounded.

JOB
Sorry, but, what?

CUT TO FRANK

FRANK
You’re hired.

JOB
Just like that?

FRANK
Yes, sir!

JOB
No other qualifications?

FRANK
Let me see here. . .

FRANK checks his pad.

FRANK
Mmmm, nope. We’re all settled.

JOB
But all you asked me was if I
wanted the job.

FRANK
You DO want the job, right?

JOB
(slowly)
Yeah. . .

FRANK
(excitedly)
Great!
That’s all we really need. Go to
the room down the hall. You can
download your clothes there and
then start working the front desk
right away. KRIKKIT KRUSTOLIX will
be there.

FRANK smiles.

FRANK
Oh! Almost forgot. Here’s your room
key for your new quarters.

FRANK hands JOB a card key.

JOB stares at it dumbly for a bit.

FRANK
Well, go on, now. We got guests
every day coming and going.

JOB
Is someone going to train me?

FRANK
Yes, yes, sure. KRIKKIT will take
care of that. Don’t worry.

CUT TO JOB.

JOB hesitates.

JOB
(mumbles)
Uh. . .so. . .uh. . .right. Okay
then.

He tries to get up, then sits back down because he wants to
say something, scoffing in disbelief, then finally gets up
to leave.

JOB leaves and the door closes behind him.

CUT TO PROFILE OF JOB IN FRONT OF FRANK’S OFFICE

JOB turns around slightly to reflect on his short interview,
then looks down at the floor in thought, scoffing again and
shrugging.

JOB walks off screen with a grin.

CUT TO:


INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL EMPLOYEES ONLY ROOM

JOB is standing at a nanoclothes vending machine and puts
his hand over a scanner. The scanner lights up and his
clothes transform into the trademark Space Hotel uniform for
clerks.

CUT TO CLOSEUP OF THE UNIFORM.

PAN ACROSS THE UNIFORM TO SHOW NAMETAG AND SPACE HOTEL BADGE

CUT TO JOB AND A ROBOT.

The robot gives JOB his work pad.

JOB looks down at it and makes an amused, interested face as
he swipes through some apps.

JOB walks to the nearest elevator. He gets in and the door
closes.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL LOBBY

CLOSE UP OF THE ELEVATOR DOOR FROM INSIDE LEADING TO THE
LOBBY

JOB walks through it as it opens, revealing the lobby.

FOLLOW JOB

JOB looks around at all the vibrant guests roaming the
lobby.

PAN AROUND THE LOBBY

CAMERA DOES A FULL 360 PAN. IT STOPS AT THE FRONT DESK AS
JOB IS ENTERING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME

JOB looks up.

PAN UP

A floating lighting fixture is above the front desk.

PAN DOWN

JOB feels the smooth surface of the front desk. He sits down
and appears surprised by how the chair adjusts itself. Even
the computer monitor adjusts to his height.

JOB grins - he’s amused.

He does a few things on the computer, sets his pad down on
the table near him, and then is ready to start.

JOB
Right. . .here we are then.
Starting a new job. Yes, sir.
Bustling new job. New start. New
everything. On my way to greatness.


CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF THE FRONT DESK

JOB is all alone. The cut to this shot is to humorously
indicate that there’s a lack of activity at the front desk.

JOB is just sitting there not knowing what to do yet.

JOB
Business is booming. Just like
FRANK said. Everyone is coming and
going.


ENTER KRIKKIT KRUSTOLIX

KRIKKIT walks into frame. He stops abruptly when he notices
JOB.

He narrows his eyes.

JOB notices him.

JOB
Yeah? I mean, ahem, may I help you?

KRIKKIT ignores JOB and walks behind the desk to his post.

JOB
Excuse me, sir? This area’s for
employees only.

KRIKKIT
I AM an employee, you dolt.

JOB
Oh. OH! You must be KRIKKIT. I’m
sorry. I’m the new guy.


KRIKKIT doesn’t reply. He narrows his eyes again at JOB. JOB
is uncomfortable by KRIKKIT’S glare.

KRIKKIT
(grumbles incoherently)

JOB
(clears throat)
I’m JOB. JOB MCCONY.

KRIKKIT glares at him.

KRIKKIT
What are you?

JOB
What?

KRIKKIT
Your species.

JOB
Human.

KRIKKIT
As in Homo sapien?

JOB
Yes, why?

KRIKKIT
Ugh. That’s why. Just ugh.

JOB doesn’t seem to know how to take this. He glares back at
first but then relaxes. He opens his mouth to object but
KRIKKIT interrupts him.
KRIKKIT
I’m very sorry, but. . .

KRIKKIT comes close and puts an arm around JOB

KRIKKIT
Humans are vile, disgusting
creatures that leave their mark on
everything, like one of your Earth
dogs peeing everywhere. You just
litter across the entire galaxy
without rhyme or reason.

JOB eyes awkwardly at where KRIKKIT put his arm around his
shoulder.

KRIKKIT withdraws his arm and leaves behind a slimy trail of
green goo on JOB’S shoulder.

The goo slips off his uniform and splats loudly on the
floor. JOB steps away from it.
JOB
Right, well, I wholeheartedly agree
on the idiocy of my species, so
hopefully we’ll stay on the same
page. I don’t plan on staying here
long anyway. I don’t want this job
to suck my soul.

KRIKKIT
(laughs - weird alien laugh)

JOB
What?

KRIKKIT
Oh this job sucks your soul all
right. It sucks it through a tiny
straw ever so slowly and painfully.
It’s rather vampiric in a way. We
actually have some vampires staying
in the crypts below. You can go
visit them if you’d like.

JOB
(pauses)
Wait. . .what?

KRIKKIT
Yea. Great air conditioning down
there too.

JOB
Heh. . .wait, but, really? There
are crypts in the basement?

KRIKKIT
Look. Every service job is
soul-sucking.

JOB
I’m sure that’s an exaggeration.

KRIKKIT
(snaps)
NO.
Did you know that hundreds of years
ago people believed that service
jobs like this would be obsolete?

JOB
No?

KRIKKIT
They actually did. Everyone back
then had high hopes that robotics
would take away all the
meaningless, soul-sucking jobs. But
they were wrong. You want to know
why?

JOB
Uh--

KRIKKIT
Because of people like us. There’s
always people at the bottom of the
economic food chain that need to be
doing something. People who are
only one step away from
homelessness.

JOB
(offended)
Hey, now, I just need some money to
pursue studies.

KRIKKIT
Aaaand service jobs also still
exist for people who just need to
get by but cannot do any real work
in any real field. So one of the
two.

JOB
Which are you?

KRIKKIT
(lays the word down heavily)
Guess.

JOB
I’m so sorry.

KRIKKIT
No, you’re not. Shut up. You only
couldn’t think of anything else to
say to that.

JOB
Right, actually.

KRIKKIT
So anyway. The first thing you need
to know about working here is that
the customer is always stupid. They
are black holes. They suck all
reason and intelligence into a
singularity of stupidity.

At that moment, HOTEL GUEST 1 suddenly approaches the desk.

KRIKKIT
(forced enthusiasm)
Oh, HELLO! Welcome to Space Hotel!
How may I help you?

HOTEL GUEST 1
(without conviction)
Room for one, please.

KRIKKIT
Very well. What would you like? We
have--

HOTEL GUEST 1
(hastily interrupting)
Give me the basics. I don’t need
anything fancy.

KRIKKIT swallows hard. He’s clearly irritated. He begins
tapping away on his computer screen.

CUT TO JOB

JOB watches the interaction unfold.

CUT TO KRIKKIT AND HOTEL GUEST 1

KRIKKIT
Please place your hand om the
identifier.

Between JOB and KRIKKIT is a handprint identifier.

HOTEL GUEST 1 places his hand on the identifier. He is
wearing a rubber glove, however.

The identifier lights up red. It beeps a negative tone.

KRIKKIT
Oh, sir? You have to remove your
glove.

HOTEL GUEST 1
(offended)
Excuse me?

KRIKKIT gives a look.

KRIKKIT
Your glove. You have to remove it.

HOTEL GUEST 1
What for?

KRIKKIT
So we can read your DNA. You know.
For identification. That thing
people normally do all the time.

HOTEL GUEST 1
But-but that requires me to expose
my skin to this filthy surface. Do
you have any idea how many hands
have been on this thing?

KRIKKIT
Yes. A lot. It’s a hotel after
all.

HOTEL GUEST 1
So you must understand the impasse
we are at now.

KRIKKIT
(sighs)

KRIKKIT grabs his shirt then brushes it against the
identifier to clean it.

KRIKKIT
There.

HOTEL GUEST 1
That won’t do.

KRIKKIT
Why not?

HOTEL GUEST 1
Because now I’ll just expose my
skin to the air.

KRIKKIT
(with rising frustration)
Sir, do you wish to stay at Space
Hotel or not?

HOTEL GUEST 1
Oh, yes, very much so.

KRIKKIT
Good. Then you’re going to have to
take off your glove and place your
hand here.

HOTEL GUEST 1
No! Isn’t there something else I
can do?

KRIKKIT
(with rising frustration and
pace)
Yes. You can turn around and go
home. You can go use the bathroom
if you’d like. You can even have a
bite to eat at the cafeteria
upstairs. You know what else you
can do? You can also hop on one
foot. You can sing hickey-do-da.
You can dance like a chicken. You
can do WHATEVER it is you’d like to
do EXCEPT get a room here unless
you offer up your naked, pink
little hand so we can identify you
and move on.

HOTEL GUEST 1 contemplates.

HOTEL GUEST 1
Can you take my picture instead?

Pause for effect to show that KRIKKIT is about to lose it.

KRIKKIT grabs HOTEL GUEST 1’s hand, removes the glove and
slams it on the identifier.

HOTEL GUEST 1
(screams in terror)
The identifier beeps with a green light. KRIKKIT is now
satisfied and reads the information on the screen.

KRIKKIT
Very well, then, Mr., uh, Mr.
Gillian. How long will you be
staying?

HOTEL GUEST 1
(continues screaming)

HOTEL GUEST 1 is gripping his naked hand.
JOB by now has his mouth open in disbelief. He can’t seem to
believe how KRIKKIT is handling the customer.

KRIKKIT
Oh, what was that? Three Earth
days? Did I hear you correctly?

HOTEL GUEST 1
(screaming)
Look at what you did to me! I’m
infected. You’ve. . .you’ve
impregnated me with life!

KRIKKIT
Very well then. Three Earth days it
is. Here is your room card.

KRIKKIT lays it on HOTEL GUEST 1’s naked hand.

HOTEL GUEST 1 pauses for effect.

HOTEL GUEST 1
(burst out screaming again)

HOTEL GUEST 1 drops the room card.

KRIKKIT
I’ll have an assistant come and
take your luggage.

KRIKKIT presses a button at his console.

A ROBOT ASSISTANT enters the frame. It looks at HOTEL GUEST
1.

ROBOT ASSISTANT
I detect the guest is in distress.

KRIKKIT
Hrm? Oh, yes. He’s only suffering a
minor mental breakdown. Maybe you
should escort him to the medical
bay?

ROBOT ASSISTANT
Very well. Let me assist you.

The ROBOT ASSISTANT picks up HOTEL GUEST 1’s only suitcase.

HOTEL GUEST 1
No! NOT MY SUITCASE TOO!

KRIKKIT
Hold him tight, now! Don’t let him
run off. He’s clearly besides
himself at the moment!

ROBOT ASSISTANT holds HOTEL GUEST 1 by the wrist in a very
tight grip. HOTEL GUEST 1 is still hysterical.

HOTEL GUEST 1
(ad lib more hysterical
shouting about being infected)

EXIT ROBOT ASSISTANT AND HOTEL GUEST 1

KRIKKIT
(sighs)

Brief moment of silence to digest what happened.

JOB
I’m working at a hotel, right? Not
an asylum?

KRIKKIT
(chuckles, long and awkwardly)
Riiiight. Say, you can handle this
kind of stuff, right?

JOB
Wait, what?

KRIKKIT
You know, this whole thing? Talking
to people? Giving them their rooms?

JOB
Well, aren’t you going to train me?
FRANK said you’d train me.

KRIKKIT
Good. Listen, I have to leave.
Today is my half-day. If FRANK runs
into me he’ll ask me to do
something stupid. But that’s where
you come in! Congratulations. Sit
back, make yourself at home here.

JOB
But what about my training?

KRIKKIT
If you don’t know what to do, just
consult your pad. The manual is on
there!


KRIKKIT hurries off without saying goodbye. He exits through
the main entrance.

JOB picks up his pad and turns it on.

JOB
(mumbles)
Okay, manual, no-wait, okay, there
it is. Uh, Christ, where is it?

HOTEL GUEST 2 appears suddenly at the front desk.

HOTEL GUEST2
Excuse me, where is the swimming
pool located?

JOB fumbles with his pad.

JOB
Uh, hi, yes, it’s on. . .it’s. .
.somewhere in here.

CUT TO JOB’S PAD

The pad’s main menu is filled with apps everywhere. Some of
them have funny names and are quite useless.

CUT TO HOTEL GUEST 2

HOTEL GUEST 2 waits impatiently as JOB continues swiping
through apps on the pad.

CUT TO JOB

JOB finally finds the map.

JOB
Ah! Here. Fifth floor!

HOTEL GUEST 2
Thank you.

HOTEL GUEST 2 leaves.

MALLY MORRISON ENTERS FRAME

MALLY is in his usual cleaning fatigues and has his kooky
cleaning device attached to his back. He removes his goggles
and starts talking to JOB.

MALLY
Hey, need help?

JOB stares at the device strapped to MALLY’S back.

JOB
Who the hell are you? A
Ghostbuster?

MALLY
Ahaha, no. I’m MALLY. I’m the
general custodian here.

MALLY offers his hand to shake. JOB is about to reach for it
when MALLY realizes his hand is very dirty.
MALLY
Oh, whoops! Hold up!

MALLY sprays his hand with a violent jet spray of frothy
cleaning fluid.

The cleaning fluid splashes all over JOB’S face. JOB remains
standing still with a straight face.

MALLY
There we go.

JOB is slowly wiping the frothy fluid off his face.

MALLY is about to offer his hand again when he notices it’s
still dirty.

MALLY
Oh, wait!

Right as JOB wipes the stuff off his face, MALLY sprays
again and the fluid splashes all over JOB’s face. MALLY then
stops.

MALLY
There we go. Oh, the fingernails
though--

JOB
(loudly)
I think your fingernails are just
fine.

MALLY
Really? Thank you. I like to do
them myself.

MALLY admires his fingernails while JOB wipes everything off
himself.

JOB
You should have been here when that
germophobe was here.

MALLY
Huh?

JOB
There was this guest who complained
about the identifier having germs.

MALLY inspects the identifier.

MALLY
Hm. . .

JOB
What?

MALLY
You know what? I should--

JOB
Wait--no!

MALLY sprays the identifier. Once more, it gets all over
JOB.

JOB
(shouts)
STOP. Stop it! It’s okay!
Everything’s okay!

MALLY
Are you sure?

JOB
YES. Please. Go somewhere else. I
need to read the manual. It’s my
first day here.

A disgusting, unpleasant explosion from off-screen interrupts them.

CUT TO THE BATHROOM DOOR

A green cloud of seemingly noxious fumes is escaping through
the cracks of the door.

CUT TO MALLY

MALLY dons his goggles.

MALLY
Looks like another Flaxatrap had a
heavy meal. See you around, Mister
uh. .

MALLY leans over to read Job’s nametag.

MALLY
(pronounces Job McCony horribly
wrong)

JOB
Actually, it’s JOB. Not like the
word job.

MALLY
Cool. I can’t talk now so we’ll
catch up later!

MALLY runs off to the bathroom.

MALLY
Don’t forget the manual!


JOB scrolls through the manual files. His expression becomes
more and more disapproving.

JOB
Yeah, uh---I’m just---no, not gonna
do that. Fuck it.

He tosses the pad aside and lays back down on the chair. He
still has some frothy fluid on his face that he needs to
wipe off.

JOB
All I do is take names and point
people in the right direction.

AT THIS POINT, WE BEGIN A MONTAGE OF VARIOUS GUESTS, ALIENS
AND HUMANS ALIKE, OVERWHELMING JOB WITH RIDICULOUS
QUESTIONS.

CUT TO HOTEL GUEST 3 AND 4.

The two guests are holding hands. HOTEL GUEST 3 is a human
female and HOTEL GUEST 4 is a really weird gross tentacle
monster.
HOTEL GUEST 3
(leans over whispering)
Is inter-species sex allowed?

HOTEL GUEST 4 makes a gross noise. Despite this, HOTEL GUEST
3 just looks really excited.

CUT TO JOB’S FACE

JOB develops a disgusted expression.

JOB
Uhhhhhhhh

CUT TO HOTEL GUEST 5

HOTEL GUEST 5 has two heads. One of the heads speaks.

HOTEL GUEST 5
So do we count as one or two
guests?

CUT TO HOTEL GUEST 6

HOTEL GUEST 6 is holding a weird little pet.

HOTEL GUEST 6
Aren’t technically all pets
sentient?

CUT TO HOTEL GUEST 7

HOTEL GUEST 7 is a human male. He’s in pain holding his
crotch.

HOTEL GUEST 7
It hurts when I go to the bathroom

CUT TO JOB

JOB
I think you need to see a doctor
for that.

CUT TO HOTEL GUEST 7

HOTEL GUEST 7 looks around in confusion.

HOTEL GUEST 7
Wait, where am I then?

After about an assumed hour of this, JOB finally has time to
himself, but we clearly can see that he’s now itching to go
to the bathroom by the way he’s moving around.

CUT TO BATHROOM DOOR

JOB runs over and enters. The door closes behind him and we
wait a few seconds until he runs back out holding his nose
and gagging.

Green gas is billowing from the bathroom.

MALLY
(shouts)
Not done cleaning, yet, man! Just
wait a little while longer.

JOB is trying hard to hold it in.

MALLY
(pronounces JOB’S name wrong
again)
It’s okay, JOB.

JOB
(irritated, gritting his teeth)
It’s JOOOOB.

MALLY
Just don’t think of water, I heard
that’s a bad idea.

JOB groans.

MALLY
I mean, not just water alone, but
like water running. Like a dam
bursting or water flowing from a
tap. Don’t think of stuff like
that. I heard it makes the urge to
pee stronger.

JOB is bending over in agony.

JOB
(groans aloud)

MALLY
Man! Flaxatraps know how to take a
dump. I’m always fascinated by the
excreting habits of other species.
I don’t know any other species
whose poop can actually kill you.
Did you know Flaxatrap poop can
kill you? I’m technically risking
my life here. I guess that makes me
a hero.

JOB bends over so far he’s now on the floor.

MALLY finally comes out of the bathroom. He removes his
goggles and mask and sighs.


MALLY
There we go.

JOB gets up and bolts inside.

MALLY leaves to do something else. We remain staring at the
closed bathroom door.

We hear a long piss, then the toilet flush, the faucet water
turning on, the hand dryer, and then a satisfied JOB
exiting.

JOB suddenly frowns.

JOB
Oh, come on!

CUT TO THE FRONT DESK

Dozens of new guests have arrived and are impatiently
waiting in a massive line.

JOB runs over.

HOTEL GUEST 8
We’ve been waiting here for ten
seconds.

HOTEL GUEST 8 taps his pad.

HOTEL GUEST 8
TEN WHOLE SECONDS. What is this?

JOB
(voice wavering)
Sorry, sir. How may I help you?

FAST-FORWARD AS JOB TAKES CARE OF ALL THE NEW GUESTS.

JOB is finally done with everyone. He collapses on the
counter.

He eventually raises his head again. He then squints.

CUT TO MARVIN

MARVIN is the guy who had JOB’s position before he was
fired. MARVIN is standing near the front entrance, giving
JOB a long, hard, cold stare.

Eventually, MARVIN breaks eye contact and looks down on his
pad.

CUT TO JOB

JOB was obviously a little confused by MARVIN’S hard look.
JOB pretends to look busy and fiddles with his computer. He
glances up every so often.

While looking at his computer, MARVIN enters the frame
suddenly.

MARVIN
Hello.

JOB
(caught off guard)
Oh! Hey--ahem--hello. How may I
help you?

MARVIN takes a moment to respond. He stares at JOB some
more, then around the desk. He places a hand on the counter
and seemingly caresses it. The caressing becomes awkward
quickly.
JOB
(nervously)
Uh. Heh. Hi. Caaaaan I help you?

MARVIN
(breathes in deeply, exhales
with satisfaction)
Do you like working here?

JOB
Yeah? I guess. . .

MARVIN
Of course you like working here. A
job is a job nowadays, right?

JOB
Yeah. . .I. . .guess?

MARVIN
I remember when I had a job. The
comfort of it. The security.

JOB
Sorry to hear that you lost your
job. So, now, this is the front
desk. Is there something you need
help with?

MARVIN
Yes.

JOB
Okay. So. . .uh. What can I help
you with?

MARVIN smiles.

MARVIN
(deep breath)
To get my job back.

JOB
I’m sorry?

MARVIN
Please. Haha. Almost forgot the
please. I mean, what would the
galaxy be like without civility,
right? Civility. Haha. Hahahaha.

JOB
I don’t understand how I can help
you with that.

MARVIN
Oh, it’s quite easy, really. You
get up from your seat, you walk out
the door, and you head to the
garage to enter your spaceship and
never come back.


JOB blinks several times realizing what MARVIN means.

JOB
Oh. OH. Oh, God. I’m so sorry.
You’re the guy who had my job
before?

MARVIN
Yes! Oh, congratulations, you’ve
figured it out.

JOB
I can’t really help you with that.

MARVIN
But it’s so simple. It’s a really
simple request, you see.

JOB
Uh, well, KRIKKIT is away today so
you could sit down there in his
seat if you’d like. It could.
.. make it feel like you have your
job again. Would that help?

MARVIN
No. No, no. No, no, no, no. NO. I
need THAT seat. The one you’re
sitting in. That was MY seat. MY
buttocks was on that chair as I
toiled away for years and years to
build up a future before it all
came crashing down. My buttocks
belongs in that chair. I lived in
it. Thrived in it. FARTED in it.

JOB
Okay, ew. This is getting--

MARVIN
You don’t understand. I need my job
back. Or else.

JOB
Or else what?

MARVIN
I shoot you with this laser right
here, see?

JOB opens his mouth as if to shout.

MARVIN
Ah-ah! Not a word or else I’ll melt
you. Get up and sit on KRIKKIT’S
seat.

JOB does so, and MARVIN heads for his old seat. In the
process, JOB raises his hands in surrender.

MARVIN
(hisses)
You idiot, keep your hands down.

JOB puts down his hands.

MARVIN sits down. The look on his face is one of utter
relief.

MARVIN
(long sigh of relief)
I almost forgot how this chair
adjusts to your butt cheeks. Oh,
how ecstatic I feel right now.

JOB grimaces.

JOB
You must not sit in many chairs.

MARVIN kicks his feet up on the desk and keeps his laser
pointed at JOB. MARVIN then grabs JOB’S pad.

JOB
What are you doing?

MARVIN
Let’s give the old man a call.

MARVIN calls FRANK. He puts the pad on speaker and grins
devilishly.

JOB is very still, nervous and awkward, eyeing everything
around him and then back to MARVIN’S laser.

FRANK
(V.O.)
Hello.

MARVIN
FRANK! Do you recognize this voice?
Yes, this is the voice of--

FRANK
(V.O.)
I am not here right now. If you
work at Space Hotel and would like
to leave a message then please do
so. All other messages should be
directed to MISS TOPPS, the
Sentient Resources representative.

MARVIN closes his eyes, annoyed.

MARVIN
(groans in annoyance)

FRANK’S answering machine beeps.

MARVIN presses hard on the pad to hang up.
MARVIN
I’m going to keep calling that
bastard. We’re not going anywhere
until he does!

CUT TO:
INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL HALLWAY

FOLLOW TOPPS FROM BEHIND

TOPPS is hurrying towards FRANK’S office.
She knocks on his door.

No answer. Faint party music can be heard.

She knocks some more.

Still nothing.

TOPPS
(sighs)

TOPPS reaches to open the door but then hesitates.

TOPPS
I hope I won’t run into something
private like last time.


She opens anyway, bursting through.

INTERIOR: FRANK’S OFFICE

The party music is blasting.

TOPPS
FRANK? We have a situation.

TOPPS pauses when she sees FRANK.

FRANK is shooting down holograms with a laser rifle, having
a grand old time.

FRANK
(laughs playfully)

TOPPS puts on a straight face - one that indicates that
she’s already done with FRANK’S apparent immaturity.

TOPPS
FRANK--

A bullseye hologram beeps and appears in front of her face.
FRANK shoots it down right in the center and the hologram
fizzles. TOPPS’ face is still serious.
FRANK
We should have these in the game
room! Everyone would love ’em!

TOPPS
Fascinating. FRANK. We have a
situation. I assume you have no
idea what’s going on in the lobby
right now?

FRANK turns off the music and stops the holograms.

FRANK
What?

TOPPS
JOB is being taken hostage by
MARVIN.

FRANK
Who?

TOPPS
You remember MARVIN?

FRANK
Yes, yes, of course. I mean the
other guy.

TOPPS
JOB.

FRANK
JOB?

TOPPS
The new front desk clerk you hired
about two Earth hours ago.

FRANK
Ah, right! Yes, yes. How’s he
doing? Doing well?

TOPPS
He’s---No, FRANK. I said he’s being
taken hostage by MARVIN.

FRANK pauses. His expression turns sour.

FRANK
Blazing comets. I didn’t think he’d
take it that hard.

TOPPS
He did storm out of your office
crying about murdering everyone
here.

FRANK
I thought he was joking.

TOPPS
Mmmm, yes, see when someone is
fired, statements like those can be
pretty serious.

FRANK
Right, well, you ARE the head of
Sentient Resources after all. So
what’s going on? Is Job dead or
something?

TOPPS
(exasperated)
No, FRANK. I said he was taken
hostage. MARVIN has a laser to his
head. He’s been trying to contact
you but you haven’t been answering.

FRANK jumps a little at the realization. He pushes aside all
the junk on his desk for his pad.

FRANK
(mumbles)
Whoa, okay then. . .

FRANK presses his pad to listen to his messages.

VOICEMAIL LADY
You have fifty-four messages. First
message.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
FRANK. Do you recognize this voice?
Yes, this is the voice of a worker
scorned. This is--

FRANK doesn’t bother listening to the entire message and
skips to the next one.

VOICEMAIL LADY
Next message.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
FRAAAAAANNNNKK. I know you’re up
there. What is it this time? Are
you having fun with that new laser
rifle? Are you? Huh? Huh?

FRANK presses again.

VOICEMAIL LADY
Next message.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
I know those customer complaints
were crap. You hear me? CRAP. I was
the best front desk clerk anyone
could ask for.

FRANK skips it.

VOICEMAIL LADY
Next message.

FRANK
There’s fifty-four of these, TOPPS!

TOPPS
That’s what crazy people do, FRANK.

FRANK stops listening to the voicemails and tosses his pad
aside.

FRANK
Ah, great. What are we going to do
now?

TOPPS
Well, as of right now MARVIN has
closed off the main entrance,
pulling down the emergency
barricades. Nobody can approach
from the main entrance. He’s
already blasted several of our
security drones and fired at the
feet of Officer TRISHA.

FRANK
What does he want?

TOPPS
To be the front desk clerk again.

FRANK
(scoffs in disbelief)
I give him the opportunity to make
something better of himself and now
he’s crawling back to a dead end
job. People are weird. Nobody
called Space Patrol, did they?

TOPPS
Nobody on staff did. . .but. .
.many of the guests did. So, yes -
Space Patrol is on their way.

FRANK
(moans)
Blast it all. Space Patrol makes a
mess of everything. Gah. All right,
where is everybody now?

TOPPS
We evacuated all the guests from
the lobby as per our usual
emergency protocol. Everyone else
is locked down in their rooms. Our
employees should be rounding up the
last few people in the recreational
area. The only people in the lobby
are MARVIN and JOB. TRISHA is on
the stairs but MARVIN won’t let her
take one step down further. As far
as I know right now, it’s a
standoff.

FRANK
(ad lib mumbling thinking
about what to do)
Go down and see what you can do.

TOPPS
(incredulously)
Me?

FRANK
Yes, you!

TOPPS
Why me?

FRANK
Because you’re the head of SR! You
handle people all the time. That’s
why you’re in the position you’re
in - you understand people.

TOPPS
I was afraid it’d come down to
this.

FRANK
It’s all right. Just go down there
and try to talk it out before Space
Patrol arrives. And wait, what
about KRIKKIT? Where’s he in all of
this?

TOPPS
Good question. He should be at the
front desk too, but he’s not.

CUT TO:


INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL POOL

TOP DOWN VIEW OF KRIKKIT

KRIKKIT is lounging by the pool under a tanning bed in a
private booth. He is listening to music and tapping his
fingers to the rhythm.

Indistinct shouts are heard outside the room.

CUT TO POOL AREA

Space Hotel employees are ordering everyone back into their
rooms.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL LOBBY

JOB is now on the floor sitting against the front desk on
the inside. MARVIN is eyeing him. MARVIN then looks to the
stairs.

CUT TO LOBBY STAIRS

There are several security drones strewn over the steps.
Officer TRISHA is standing with her arms crossed, expression
cold and hard.

CUT TO JOB AND MARVIN

JOB
Why don’t you get another job?

MARVIN stares at him for a moment.

MARVIN
(bursts into insane laughter)

JOB
Um. . .but really though. . .

MARVIN
Oh, yes, yes! Get another job. Let
me just go back to the planet of
jobs where jobs walk around on two
feet waiting to be taken away.
Planet Job. So easy for you to say.
Let me guess, this is your first
job, isn’t it?

JOB
Yeah, well--

MARVIN
See? I knew it. You have the look
of a rookie. I was like that once.
I sat here on my first day excited
to see the people of the galaxy.
"Oh, hello, welcome to Space Hotel!
How may I help you? May I interest
you in the deluxe suite? I’m sorry,
you need to call SR for that. Would
you like me to make any
reservations?"

JOB
Wait, you’re not making any sense.
So you want your job back but you
hate it so like--

MARVIN shoves the laser in JOB’S face.

MARVIN
Sense? Nothing makes sense. We all
do things we don’t like to do but
we have to do them in order to
survive.

JOB
(nervous at having the laser
so close to him)
Right. Um. Okay. I got it. Sounds
good. Sounds logical. Makes sense.
Very good.

CUT TO STAIRWELL

ENTER TOPPS

She adjusts a transmitter on her ear. The transmitter has a
microphone. Her voice projects across the lobby.

TOPPS
Hello again, MARVIN.

CUT TO JOB AND MARVIN

JOB sits up upon looking at TOPPS. He’s clearly taken by her
beauty.

JOB
Whoa. Who’s she?

MARVIN
(perfectly normal tone)
Oh, you haven’t met TOPPS yet?

JOB
Who?

MARVIN
Miss TOPPS. She’s the head of SR.
Weren’t you introduced to anyone?

JOB
Not really.

MARVIN
You haven’t met WATKINS yet?

JOB
No.

MARVIN
CHAZ? The pilots? MALLY?

JOB
Oh, yes, I’ve met MALLY.

MARVIN
He’s pretty irritating, isn’t he?

JOB
Oh my God, yes. I---

TOPPS
(clears her throat loudly)

MARVIN
Right. Almost forgot. I’m
threatening your life.

TOPPS
(V.O.)
MARVIN, let’s think about the
repercussions of your actions here.

MARVIN
Repercussions of MY actions? If you
hadn’t fired me I wouldn’t have to
do this!

TOPPS
(V.O.)
I didn’t fire you.

MARVIN
Exactly. Where’s the old man
himself? Why isn’t he here?

TOPPS
(V.O.)
He’s very busy right now--

MARVIN
We both know that’s not true!
Listen, I ain’t moving until I get
to talk to FRANK. If you guys cared
so much about my well-being he
would have been here by now.

TOPPS
(V.O.)
MARVIN--

MARVIN
THAT’S FINAL. I ain’t talking to
you or anybody else. If I don’t get
to talk to FRANK in another hour,
your new clerk here gets it!


MARVIN pulls JOB to his feet. He presses the laser against
JOB’S temple.

JOB, however, is completely struck by TOPPS’S beauty.

JOB
(trying to hit on her)
Hi, Miss TOPPS. I’m JOB.

MARVIN
Shut up!

JOB
I mean - ow, please save me.


CUT TO TOPPS AND TRISHA

TOPPS hesitates. She glances at TRISHA as if for an answer.

TRISHA
What?

TOPPS
You’re the security officer. Can’t
you do something about this?

TRISHA
I’m a shoot first, ask later type
of officer, you know that. I’m the
least negotiable person here. Why
can’t you just go get FRANK?

TOPPS
Persuading him to do anything takes
an extensive amount of work, even
for an SR executive like me.

TOPPS EXIT FRAME

TRISHA returns to glaring at MARVIN.

CUT TO MARVIN AND JOB

MARVIN
So you haven’t met WATKINS yet, eh?

JOB
No.

MARVIN turns to TRISHA.

MARVIN
HEY, Miss Resting Bitch Face.

CUT TO TRISHA

She very well has a resting bitch face.

TRISHA
What?

MARVIN
(V.O.)
I have a new request!

TRISHA
To roll over and die?

MARVIN
(V.O.)
Get WATKINS down here with today’s
special.

TRISHA
You’re joking.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
I’m hungry. The hungrier I get the
crankier I get too. And you can’t
accurately predict what I’ll do
once I get even more irritated, can
you? I’m crazy. I’m fucking crazy!

TRISHA
(exasperated)
Fine.

TRISHA EXITS FRAME

CUT TO JOB AND MARVIN

MARVIN
Today’s Tuesday, right?

JOB
Yeah, an Earth Tuesday you mean?

MARVIN
Right, right. Hm. The special today
should be clam chowder. I
personally prefer the broccoli
cheddar soup, but WATKINS excels at
whatever he does.

JOB
I can’t wait.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR: FRANK’S OFFICE

FRANK is still having fun with the holographic shooting
game.

TOPPS bursts in.

TOPPS
(sighs in dismay)
FRANK, this is serious.

FRANK
Huh? What?

TOPPS
You need to go down there.

FRANK
But--

TOPPS
NOW.

FRANK
Okay, okay, just uh--give me a
minute.

TOPPS
FRANK.

FRANK turns off the game. TOPPS killed his mood instantly.
He runs a hand over his face and rubs his eyes.

FRANK
(long sigh)
TOPPS, uh, let’s say for a moment.
. .just a moment. . .one of them
hypercritical moments.

TOPPS
Hypothetical?

FRANK
Yes. That was the word I was
looking for. Thank you.
Hyperthetical.

TOPPS
Hypo. Hypothetical.

FRANK
Yes, yes! An imaginary situation.
Let’s imagine an employee is angry
at a boss for firing him based on
things that. . .didn’t. . .exactly
happen.

TOPPS’S face turns sour instantly.

TOPPS
What? FRANK, are you telling me
that there was no reason to fire
MARVIN?

FRANK
No, no, of course not! There was
every good reason to fire MARVIN.
You yourself saw the customer
complaints.

TOPPS
Then why are you saying--

FRANK
I’m just asking for a friend.

TOPPS
FRANK. . .

FRANK
Yes?

TOPPS
Did you make up those customer
complaints?

FRANK tries to speak but stops short. He does all sorts of
awkward expressions trying to figure out how to carefully
word his next response.

FRANK
(ad lib incoherent phrases)
Hypothetical, TOPPS. This is all
hypothetical.

Pause for effect as FRANK composes himself.

FRANK
(very quickly)
But yes.

CUT TO:


INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL LOBBY

JOB, MARVIN and WATKINS are at the front desk.

WATKINS had brought his special of the day - some weird
space food that I can’t think of right now, but it looks
weird.

WATKINS is unfazed by the hostage situation; he has the
presence of a butler, with his steady hand out holding the
plate of food.

MARVIN looks pleased eating bite after bite with a fork.
JOB is trying to get used to the taste, munching slowly.

MARVIN
MMMMMMMmmm, isn’t this delicious?
Oh, man, I missed this!

WATKINS
You were here yesterday, sir.

MARVIN
Shut up. This is JOB, by the way.
JOB, WATKINS. WATKINS, JOB.

JOB
Hi.

WATKINS only nods lightly.

JOB
If only we met under better
circumstances.

WATKINS
Could be worse. Could have the
laser pointed at me.
(cackles)
Is that all, MARVIN?

MARVIN
Yeah, yeah, go away.

JOB appears disturbed by WATKINS and watches him walk away
off-screen.

JOB
Is everyone here kind of an
asshole?

MARVIN
No. TOPPS is nice. She’s always
been lovely to me.

JOB
Everyone else kind of makes me want
to leave this job.

MARVIN
(gasps)
You don’t say? Really?

JOB
I mean. . .I wouldn’t let you have
it.

MARVIN
Why not?

JOB
Are you seriously asking that?

MARVIN darts his eyes back and forth.

MARVIN
Yeah. . .?

JOB thinks of something to say.

JOB
I don’t quite think you have the
right people skills.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR: FRANK’S OFFICE

TOPPS and FRANK are sitting across from each other. TOPPS is
dismayed and FRANK is passing the time awkwardly fidgeting.

TOPPS
Have you fired other employees just
because you plain don’t like them?

FRANK
No. MARVIN’S the only one.

TOPPS
But I don’t understand. What is it
about MARVIN you didn’t like?

FRANK
Do I HAVE to explain it? I just
didn’t like the guy! It happens all
the time. You don’t have to be
friends with everybody.

TOPPS
That doesn’t give you reason enough
to fire them! Nowhere close!

FRANK
I clearly knew there was something
wrong with him. I got those vibes,
you know? He was clearly unstable,
judging by what he’s pulling off
now.

TOPPS
FRANK, I just--

TOPPS is interrupted by a call on her transmitter.

TOPPS
Yes?
(pauses to listen)
Oh my. Right now?

TOPPS jumps to her feet. She panics for a moment going from
one side of the room to the next.

FRANK
The matter now? JOB get shot?

TOPPS
No, no, no, uh, Space Patrol is
here.

FRANK
Aw, crap, right now?

TOPPS
Yes, they just landed on the roof
platform they sent a detective who
is--

A knock interrupts them.

TOPPS
(hisses)
Black holes!

FRANK
Don’t worry, don’t worry. They
probably just sent a negotiator.
Whatever you do, don’t tell them
what I told you.
(addresses detective)
Come in!

CUT TO OFFICE DOOR

ENTER CHETT VANGELIS.

CHETT appears calm and collective, walking in with a stride.
CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF CHETT, FRANK AND TOPPS

CHETT
Detective CHETT VANGELIS of Space
Patrol here.

CHETT shows her badge.

CHETT
Heard you have a hostage situation.
What’s the story?

TOPPS
(stammers incoherently)

FRANK
Er, heh. Glad to have you here,
detective. I just would like to say
we’ve never in all our years had a
situation like this and--

CHETT
Yes, yes, I know. I’ve stayed here
many times, that’s why I was
assigned to this case.

FRANK
Oh, really? Tell me, were you here
when we installed the new virtual
reality settings with the Mountains
of Keptia?

CHETT
Yes, that was quite a nice
rendition.

FRANK
Glad to hear it. You know, I
designed part of it myself. I used
to vacation there when--

TOPPS
(clears throat loudly)

FRANK
Right, ahem, never mind that. The
hostage situation. Maybe you
remember MARVIN?

CHETT
Of course. Front desk clerk.

FRANK
Ah, yes, well, it appears he didn’t
take my firing of him too kindly.
He’s returned with a vengeance
holding our new front desk clerk
hostage.

CHETT
(snickers)
Firing him really showed his true
colors, eh?

FRANK
Well, he’s human. He can’t change
colors.

CHETT
It’s an expression. Sorry, I’m an
antiquarian at heart. Say things
and do things like the old days.
Anyway. What was he fired over?

FRANK glances briefly at TOPPS.

FRANK
Customer complaints. He received a
lot of customer complaints.

CHETT
Hm.

Awkward silence.
CHETT
And that’s it? Customer complaints?

FRANK
Yes.

CHETT
I feel like something’s missing
here.

FRANK
I don’t understand.

CHETT
Neither do I. If you’re an employee
who receives repeated customer
complaints, you should be quite
aware about what you are doing to
receive them. You know what you
hate about your job.

FRANK
(scoffs)
Well, MARVIN is clearly crazy. All
logic seems to have seeped from
him.

CHETT
Oh, please. Let’s not use mental
illness as a hand-waiver here.
You’ve tried talking to him
already?

TOPPS
Yes. I have.

CHETT
And?

TOPPS
He only wants to talk to FRANK.

CHETT
So. FRANK? What happened?

FRANK
Huh?

CHETT
When you talked to him.

FRANK
Oh. I didn’t talk to him.

CHETT
Okay, now I really don’t follow.
Let me go over this slowly.

FRANK
Okay.

CHETT
You fired MARVIN because he was
getting too many customer
complaints.

FRANK
Yes.

CHETT
He comes back for his job and he
wants to confront you about it.

FRANK
Yes.

CHETT
And yet you haven’t done the one
thing he has asked for when it
should be something easy to do
where you go down to him and remind
him about his customer complaints.

FRANK takes a moment.

FRANK
Yes.

CHETT
There’s something here you’re not
telling me.

FRANK
I don’t understand.

CHETT leans closer to FRANK’S desk with a smile.

CHETT
When I asked you why you fired
MARVIN, you took a moment - a
nanosecond almost - to glance at
your assistant MS. TOPPS here. That
glance told me everything. You
refuse to talk to MARVIN when you
should be brimming with confidence
that such a conversation should be
easy. He was a terrible employee
and you know it. But maybe that’s
not the case. Maybe he was actually
a good employee, normal at best,
and you just didn’t like him for
some inane reason and he is calling
you out on this.
(pause briefly)
Am I correct in assuming this?

FRANK stares at TOPPS then to CHETT. He does this a couple
times back and forth.

FRANK
(guffaws)
Zap, you’re good!

CHETT
I try.

FRANK
Am I in trouble now?

CHETT
I’m not here to tell you how to run
your business or how to fire your
employees. For all I know and care,
you fired him because he gave you a
dirty look once. Still makes you
quite an illogical person, but
again, not my business. I’m here to
resolve the matter. So let’s go!

CHETT hops to her feet and heads out the door.

CHETT
Up and at ’em! All of us.

FRANK relaxes.

FRANK
(relieved sigh)
FRANK gets up to follow CHETT with TOPPS. TOPPS shakes her
head in dismay.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL LOBBY

MARVIN
MALLY! FOR THE LAST TIME, STAY
BACK!

MALLY had antagonized MARVIN by going to the lobby to clean
the fountain. When he realized what was going on, he wanted
to help.

MALLY
Hey, now, wait, I think if we all
just talk--

TRISHA is ready with her laser pointed at MARVIN.

TRISHA
MARVIN, take one shot at MALLY and
I'll melt you!

MALLY
Okay, wait, I think I’m going to
stand over HERE instead because
you’re both pointing your lasers at
me, so--

MARVIN
NO! MALLY, what did I say? Take
your hands off your stupid
contraption. You won’t fool me by
spraying me with that shit!

TRISHA
MARVIN!

MALLY
It’s okay. I’m just going to walk
over here and--

MALLY starts walking. MARVIN opens fire but misses - hitting
the hologram projector at the fountain. TRISHA shoots but
MARVIN already ducked.

MALLY
(screams as he dives for
cover)

TRISHA makes her way down firing but then MARVIN gets a hold
of JOB and stands up with him pinning the laser to his head.
TRISHA freezes.

TRISHA
(scowls)

MARVIN threatens her with several silly crazy-eyed glares,
pressing the laser harder against JOB’S head.

MARVIN’S eyes dart up as he notices movement on the stairs.

MARVIN
Well, well, well. Look who finally
showed up!


CUT TO STAIRWELL

TOPPS, FRANK and CHETT enter frame.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
The big man himself! Hello, BOSS.

CHETT appears to notice somebody up on the railing
off-screen.

CHETT
Hey, you! What are you doing?

CUT TO CAFETERIA BALCONY

LIVIA STARGAZE is casually watching the events unfold down
in the lobby.

LIVIA
Enjoying the show.

CHETT
(V.O.)
Are you crazy? Go away. This is a
hostage situation. Get back!


LIVIA takes a moment to comply. She shrugs. Then she walks
off.

CUT TO CHETT, TOPPS AND FRANK
CHETT
(murmurs)
People these days. Anything is a
form of entertainment to them.

FRANK
MARVIN. We’re going to have to stop
this nonsense right away.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
What took you so long? Can’t face
the fact that I was actually a
great front desk clerk and those
customer complaints were stardust?

FRANK appears uncomfortable. He glances at TOPPS, then CHETT
as if for help. CHETT only nods in MARVIN’S direction.

FRANK
MARVIN, I gotta be honest with you.

MARVIN presses the laser even harder against JOB’S temple.

JOB
Ow! You know it won’t make a
different how deep you hold it
against me, right?

MARVIN
This is it. THIS IS IT!

FRANK
(inhales as if to speak)

FRANK glances again at CHETT and TOPPS.

CHETT rolls her eyes.

CHETT
What FRANK is trying to say is--

FRANK
I just don’t like you! There. I
said it. I made up customer
complaints because I just plain
don’t like you. I don’t like how
you say things. I don’t like how
you say hello to the guests. You
say it with this strange, elongated
tone at the end that makes me fume.
You know how some people can say
the most ordinary things in a
certain way that makes you want to
pull their teeth? That’s YOU. And
rather than try to admit that and
cause a scene I figured I’d make up
several customer complaints as
justification for your termination.

Awkward silence after that.

The camera cuts between FRANK, MARVIN, MALLY, and then also
LIVIA - who returned to the balcony and is smirking as she’s
watching. This time, she has a snack with her.

CUT TO MARVIN

MARVIN
(breaks into insane laughter)
That’s it! That’s all I wanted!
(more laughter)

CUT TO CHETT, FRANK AND TOPPS

CHETT
Well, glad this is over. Whatever
this was.

TOPPS
Now, MARVIN, can you please unhand
JOB?

MARVIN
(V.O.)
NO!

FRANK
Oh, what now?

CUT TO MARVIN

MARVIN
My report! It needs to say on my
termination report nothing about
customer complaints. Do it. DO IT
NOW!

CUT TO FRANK

FRANK
All right, all right, all right!

FRANK taps into his pad.

FRANK
There, done.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
Show it to me.

FRANK raises the pad to MARVIN’S direction

MARVIN
(V.O.)
I can’t---I can’t quite make that
out. Is that one or two sentences?

JOB
(V.O.)
It’s one sentence.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
How can you tell?

JOB
(V.O.)
The other thing is the question on
the form.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
Really? I can’t see shit. I don’t
believe you.

FRANK
I’ll bring it over.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
NO. I don’t trust you.

FRANK
(grumbles in exasperation)
Fine, here TOPPS.

MARVIN
(V.O.)
NO. Not TOPPS. Sorry, TOPPS, I know
you’re the nicest person here but I
just don’t trust you, mmm?

TOPPS
Then what in black holes do you
want us to do, MARVIN?

CUT TO MARVIN

MARVIN looks around. He looks up at the balcony and grins.

MARVIN
Her! Give it to her! Have her show
it to me!

CUT TO LIVIA

She looks down at him and frowns.

CUT TO CHETT

CHETT
Hey, I thought I told you to--

TOPPS
It’s all right, detective. Let’s
get this over with. Miss? If you
would come down please. I’m sure
you’ve witnessed the drama unfold
by now and understand the
situation.

CUT TO LIVIA

She raises both arms up in acceptance.

LIVIA
But of course.

FOLLOW LIVIA WALKING DOWN TO THE STAIRWELL.

FRANK hands her his pad.
TOPPS
(speaks in a low tone to
LIVIA)
TRISHA will back you up. I’m so
sorry for this.

LIVIA
Oh, it’s nothing. It’s the most fun
I’ve had staying here yet.

LIVIA smiles.

FOLLOW LIVIA DOWN THE STAIRS TO MARVIN

Along the way, she glances briefly at MALLY, who is still
lying on the ground covering his head.
LIVIA reaches the front desk.

LIVIA
(sighs through her nose)
Here you go.

MARVIN leans over to read.

MARVIN
(reads aloud what FRANK wrote
about him)
MARVIN’s hairstyle was in code
violation.

MARVIN shoots a look at FRANK

MARVIN
What the--what’s wrong with my
hair? You forgot to tell me about
my hair too?

JOB
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST TAKE
IT.

MARVIN
Shut up, you.

JOB
No, you know what?
Fuck this--fucking--

JOB struggles with MARVIN. LIVIA tries to reach out for the
laser but MARVIN threatens her with it instead. JOB takes
this moment to break free and run off.

TRISHA shoots. LIVIA had already dove for cover. MARVIN gets
shot in the shoulder and it makes him lean back and shoot up
blindly into the ceiling.

CUT TO THE CEILING

The laser blast hit the floating light fixture. The
light fixture fizzles out, stops hovering, and plummets to
the lobby floor.

CUT TO OVERHEAD VIEW OF JOB

JOB had fallen and is in the middle of getting up when he
looks up.

ZOOM IN ON JOB’S FACE

JOB
Oh, shi--

CUT TO BLACK

FADE IN TO:

INTERIOR: SPACE HOTEL MEDICAL BAY

JOB is bandaged up on a bed in the medical bay. Nobody
appears to be around him. The bed next to him has the
curtain drawn though for privacy.

FRANK enters the medical bay. He seems wrought with guilt.
He stops at JOB’s bed.

FRANK
Hey, there, Job.

JOB can’t really move his head. Only his eyes dart to FRANK.

FRANK
So, uh, um. . .how was your first
day?

JOB narrows his eyes.

FRANK
Sorry, right, don’t answer that.
Uh, look, what happened between
MARVIN and I stayed between MARVIN
and I. It’s a long history of pent
up animosity on my part. In fact, I
kind of see it as a lesson. From
now on, if anyone does anything
that gets on my nerves I’ll just
straight up tell them. I’m sure
you’ll be all right, though. You
seem like a good kid. But I’ll be
communicable, trust me. Think of it
as having a roommate, you know?
This is my line, this is your line,
we’ll understand if we ever cross
those lines. Right?

JOB still says nothing.

FRANK
Oh, speaking of roommates. MALLY is
your roommate over in the living
quarters.

JOB leans his head back slightly and slowly closes his eyes
in pain.

JOB
(very softly, to himself)
Ffffffuck.

FRANK
He’s been eager for you to recover.
Already has your bed ready, hehehe.
Ah. Anyways. I really hope this
doesn’t get in the way of anything.
I hope to have you around.

JOB doesn’t say anything, but it becomes clear that FRANK is
hoping for a reply.

JOB
(sighs)
Yeah, it’s all right. People are
crazy. What can you do?

FRANK
(chuckles)
Exactly.

FRANK pats JOB’S injured leg. JOB bites his lip.

JOB
(grunts painfully)

FRANK
I’ll let you get some rest. TOPPS
should be here any minute to wrap
some stuff up though. Don’t you go
anywhere in the meantime.

FRANK makes a face, hoping JOB got the joke.

JOB
(chuckles sarcastically)

FRANK
(laughs obnoxiously)

EXIT FRANK.

ENTER TOPPS.

TOPPS
Oh, dear, oh, dear, how are you
doing?

JOB
Swell.

TOPPS
I’m sorry but I have to bother you
for a moment to tap in a few
answers for a usual questionnaire
when a crisis like this happens.

JOB
Wonderful.

TOPPS takes out her pad.

TOPPS
On a scale of 1 to 10, how
effective do you believe this
crisis was solved? 1 being poorly
effective and 10 being greatly
effective.

JOB really doesn’t want to do this. He closes his eyes.

TOPPS
Uh, oh, um, JOB? You fall asleep?

JOB
No! I’m thinking.

TOPPS
Oh.

JOB
I don’t know. 8.

TOPPS
Okay, 8. Now, does this crisis in
any way make you want to warn
anyone about working here? If yes,
please explain.

JOB
No.

TOPPS
Really?

JOB
No. If I say yes, I just don’t feel
like explaining right now. I think
it’s pretty obvious.

TOPPS
On a scale of 1 to 10, does--
ah, you know what?

TOPPS puts her pad down and smiles at him.

TOPPS
You’re right. This is silly. I’ll
do this myself entering the most
sensible answers. All I need to
know from you is if you still wish
to work here.

JOB
Sure.

TOPPS
I need a yes or no answer, please.

JOB
(irritated)
Yes, yes, yes. It’s all I got right
now. So yes.

TOPPS
Very well then.

JOB appears guilty.

JOB
Sorry about that. Let me try again.
(clears throat)
Yes, MISS TOPPS.

TOPPS smiles.

TOPPS
I’ll leave you alone then, JOB.
Rest well.

TOPPS is about to leave when JOB calls out after her.

JOB
Er, wait, TOPPS?

TOPPS
Yes, JOB?

JOB
What time do you usually get off?

TOPPS
Off?

JOB
Yes, off work, you know.

TOPPS
Oh. OH! Off work. Haha. I often
forget typical human work lingo
since all I do is power down when
FRANK doesn’t need me.

JOB
Did. . .did you say power down?

TOPPS
Why, yes. I’m an android.

TOPPS reveals a port beneath her hair in the back of her
neck.

TOPPS
Top of the line in service.

CUT TO CLOSEUP OF JOB

JOB is seriously bummed out right now.

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF JOB AND TOPPS

TOPPS
Is there anything else I can do for
you, JOB?

JOB
No. Thanks.

TOPPS
You’re welcome.

EXIT TOPPS

JOB reclines on his bed and relaxes. He smirks.

JOB
(scoffs in disbelief)
Of all the---goddammit.
(starts to laugh out loud,
then dies down in laughter)

CROSSFADE TO:

Some time has passed and JOB is now getting up from the
hospital bed all better. The bed next to his still has the
curtain drawn. As JOB is getting up and putting on his shoes
and steadying himself, a nurse approaches the curtain and
pulls it aside.

NURSE
Well, now, Mr. Gillian, you seem to
be doing better right now. It’s
about time too.

HOTEL GUEST 1
Thank you. I AM a lot better now. I
won’t get my fears get a hold of me
like last time.

NURSE
I hope you enjoy your stay at Space
Hotel.

EXIT NURSE

HOTEL GUEST 1 - Mr. Gillian - if you don’t remember by now,
is the germophobic guest from the beginning. He’s gotten
treatment over his phobia and is getting up and walking out
of the medical bay.

JOB is still putting on his shoes when he wobbles and
accidentally bumps into HOTEL GUEST 1, touching his hand.

JOB
Oh, sorry.

JOB lets go. He finally gets his shoe on and leaves.

EXIT JOB

HOTEL GUEST 1 slowly raises his hand and stares at it.

HOTEL GUEST 1
(bursts into a screaming
frenzy)

CUT TO:

JOB has just entered the lobby again. He looks around at the
varying species from across the galaxy coming to stay.

JOB
(breathes in deeply)
Let’s try this again.

MALLY is at work trying to get the hologram working again,
since it had been shot by MARVIN earlier. JOB enters the
front desk. KRIKKIT is there.

KRIKKIT
Oh, you again. I leave you for one
minute and someone takes you
hostage.


CUT TO FRONT DOOR

Dozens of new guests are entering.

CUT TO JOB AND KRIKKIT

KRIKKIT
Let’s hope we don’t run into the
guy who had MY job before.

A new guest approaches JOB.

JOB smiles.

JOB
Hey, there, may I--I mean, ahem.
Welcome to--

CUT TO MALLY

The holographic projector beeps affirmatively, and a green
light goes on. MALLY makes a wide smile and looks up.

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF THE ENTIRE LOBBY.

The theme song starts.

The hologram displays the giant words SPACE HOTEL -
finishing JOB’S sentence.

From here on out, we do the special end credits for the
pilot. We have the character names and voice actors appear
besides each character. In between, we also have other
credits (like music, concept artists, etc). The character
cedits follow in this order: it goes from JOB to KRIKKIT,
then to MALLY, who walks upstairs to the cafeteria and
passes by CHETT eating and WATKINS serving her. WATKINS then
passes by TOPPS, who goes up the elevator to visit FRANK,
who is in turn reading a news piece on his pad about the
apprehension of MARVIN. TOPPS then walks back out and a
guest room opens and LIVIA walks out. Instead of revealing
the name of her character, a bunch of question marks appear,
like "???". Once the questions marks appear, LIVIA glances
back into the room and we see a man sleeping in the bed;
it’s assumed she’s ditching him and doing a walk of shame.
She then grins to herself as she reveals that she had stolen
information on a USB, then exits the frame.

CUT TO SPACE HOTEL LOBBY

The theme song would end here, or whatever. The writing
credits for Captain Crazy and Scotty appear, followed by all other credits like modeling and art and music and blah blah blah, then the words
"created by Scotty McGee" ends the credits.

FADE TO BLACK

END



__________________
Only thieves kiss with their eyes open.
  
						Last edited by ScottyMcGee; 01-08-2016 at 02:25 PM.
					
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