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Old 04-19-2017, 06:03 AM View Post #1 (Link) The Carnival
ac_writer (Offline)
Novice Writer
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 12
Points: 11.15
Times Thanked: 1
This short story is based off a dream I had, I hope you enjoy.
.................................................................................................... ................................................

"Hey wake up, we're almost there!"

Wyatt awoke with a start as his best friend, Rolland, abruptly shook him awake. Stretching his arms, Wyatt squinted at Rolland with what was half a smile and a yawn. As he continued to stretch, he could hear their other classmates chattering excitedly with one another on the bus. Glancing towards the window, Wyatt could see cars flash by like lightning, and the blur of trees as the bus rumbled towards its destination.

"So whats the plan when we get to this year's carnival," asked Wyatt, "ride all of the most scariest and craziest rides they have?"

"Like you even have to ask," replied Rolland, grinning his known cat-like grin.

Every year when the carnival came into town, it had been tradition for the two best friends to ride the wildest rides that the carnival provides. Wyatt smiles, remembering the fun times they shared, screaming with glee, and sometimes after the ride, throwing up. Although neither of them regretted it. They both loved the carnival rides, and each new ride that carnival brings year after year is always a treat.

Just as Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, the bus took a sharp left and pulled into the busy parking lot that stood just outside of the carnival. Causing Wyatt to forget what he wanted to say. He turned towards the window and peered out at the families, couples, and other school children that were making their way to the front entrance. Glancing up, Wyatt could see the many towering rides, enticing him.

"Man oh man, I can't wait to see what new ride they have this year!"

Chuckling, Wyatt turned his head back towards his best friend.

"Thats what you say every year," Wyatt jokingly answers.

"Well its true! Aren't you excited too?"

Wyatt just grinned in response. He couldn't lie even if he wanted too. They both knew each other too well.

The bus suddenly lurched to a stop, and their teacher, Mrs. Quack, stood up at the front of the bus. Facing towards her students, she gave roll call and droned on about the rules they needed to follow before they could go inside. Wyatt was not really listening though as he tapped his foot in quiet impatience. He had heard the rules so many times, that he could recite them by heart if anybody asked him to do it.

Finally, for what felt like hours, Mrs. Quack finished with her usual line, "Everyone, make sure to meet back at the bus later today. And don't forget to have fun!" She quickly stepped out of the way as thousands of children rocketed themselves off the bus and towards the carnival.

"Come on Wyatt, lets go!" whooped Rolland as he sprinted across the asphalt parking lot.

Wyatt started sprinting too, keeping a close tail on Rolland as they ran together towards the entrance. There, they handed their golden tickets to the man at the booth, who in return, handed them green wristbands. They continued inside, walking, as they placed their wrist bands on their right wrists. As they wandered around the carnival, the two best friends were in awe. Everywhere they looked, their was bright colors everywhere. From the thrilling rides to the fun carnival games, with their silly prizes up to win. They continued their journey, listening to the sounds of laughter and screams of joy, till Wyatt saw a sign that read, "New Ride, Right Here!"

"Check it out, theres the new ride," Wyatt said, pointing at the line that was slowly forming from a yellow and red carnival tent. They hurried over to the back of the line, both bouncing on their toes trying to see what the ride looked like, but the tent flaps were closed.

"I wonder what the ride will be like," wondered Wyatt aloud.

"Yea, especially since it seems to be a small one," Rolland responded.

Both of them eyed the tent with quizzical, but hopeful eyes as they steadily moved forward in the line. When it was their turn to step through the flaps, they didn't see a ride. However, they did see a huge hole in the ground and a carnival attendant standing next to it, looking bored.

"The new ride is a slide? Huh, that makes sense. I guess," said Rolland as he stepped forward to get in.

Staring at the hole gave Wyatt a weird feeling, like something was not right. He pulled Rolland back before he could get close to the hole.

"Rolland, wait... I don't think we should get in," whispered Wyatt, eyeing the hole, and feeling something that he could not exactly describe. Maybe fear? Or anxiety.

As if on cue, the attendant said, "You don't need to worry, it's perfectly safe. You just need to decide now whether you're getting in or not because you guys are holding up the line."

She pulled a piece of gum from her pants pocket, unwrapped it from it wrapper and slipped it into her mouth, chewing ,with her arms crossed, as she waited for them to make up their minds.

"This lady works for the carnival and if she says it's safe, then it's safe," Rolland says matter-of-factly.

"Besides, no ride has ever gotten the best of us, so why should a slide be the first?"

"You're right, laughed Wyatt. Why should he be worried at all, it's just a slide. He shook off the bad feelings,"Let's do it."

"Whoop de doo, they finally made a decision," the attendant sarcastically said, "Now please sit at the edge and slide down."

Before he turned back towards the hole, Rolland gave Wyatt a mock salute with his cat-like grin to match. Then he turned back and sat at the edge of the hole, just as the attendant instructed.

"See you later Wyatt!" called Rolland as he slid down out of view, his voice echoing.

Wyatt tentatively stepped towards the hole and sat at the edge. It looked so dark, and by the echo of his friends voice, it must be pretty deep. The feeling of fear creeped back. However, the attendant gave him no more time to hesitate by pushing him into the hole.

"Have a fun trip!" She yells down to Wyatt. As he fell, he could hear her cackling laughter echo around the hole.

Wyatt kept sliding farther down, and moving faster by the minute, until he could not even see the little circle of light above. It was all darkness. Wyatt had never felt more scared in his life. He couldn't even bring himself to scream. All he could bring himself to do was hold his hands over his eyes and pray that this ride would come to an end soon.

Soon after he thought this small prayer, he fell out into a crumple on a hard dirt packed floor.

"Wyatt!" Rolland yelled as he helped him up, "You ok?"

"Yea, I'm fine," Wyatt answered while wiping off the dust that caked his arms, legs, and clothes.

"By the way, thanks for waiting for me," said Wyatt smiling, as he continued to tidy himself.

"No problem, I would have waited for you anyways. The only problem is that... I don't think we can get out," croaked Rolland.

Wyatt freezes, his hands on his knees. He does not look at Rolland till he is standing upright. When he does, he see's that Rolland is not only covered in dust like himself, but he also looks scared. Really. Scared.

"What do you mean? Isn't there an exit with stairs or something?" panic struggling to climb up Wyatt's throat as he asks the question.

"Wyatt, everyone who had come down this hole is still here, don't you see them?"

Wyatt looked around, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. Soon he's able to see a lot of people, some looking confused, others annoyed, but most looked just as scared as he feels right now.

As he looks around Rolland shakily says, "I looked around the whole area, but there is no way out. Even the hole we went through is gone. I talked to some people, and they said that they had been here for hours, but they don't actually know for sure."

Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, but to say what. Give assurance to his best friend that everything will be ok? That it will all work out? He never got the chance to speak because all of a sudden, the earth started shaking like mad.

It was a mess. People were screaming, running and shoving against each other. Wyatt gripped Rolland's arm in a death grip and pulled him to the edge. They held each tight throughout the chaos. Wyatt glimpsed up and saw a huge hole forming on the other side of them. He at first felt relieved. There was a way out, this ride must be just to scare people. He continued feeling.

This was short lived, however, when a giant monstrous head popped his head out. It smiled a leering smile, opening it's mouth wide like a snake. It started swallowing people left and right. He could hear screams cut short and cracking sounds of people's bones being obliterated into dust.

"Oh my gosh..... we got to get out of here!" screamed Rolland when he saw the monster.

He staggered upright and tried to run off, but Wyatt pulled him back just a large chunk of the ceiling crashed down. Causing an enormous wave of dust to wash over them.

Coughing, Wyatt peered into the dust and freezes in shock. The monster was only a foot away from them. Its neck stretching and twisting as it moves towards us, slowly opening its mouth. It was both memorizing and horrifying. Wyatt could do nothing but cling to Rolland tight as the monster slowly closed its mouth around them.

...................................................... (At the end of the day)

"Ok, is that everyone?" Mrs. Quack asked as all the students boarded the bus. Her eyes lazily looked over the children as they climbed in one by one. "That must be everyone," she thought to herself as she staggered onto the bus and plopped herself onto the front right seat.

"ugh, I need a tylenol. Maybe I shouldn't have rode the Disko'o," groaned Mrs. Quack quietly to herself as she laid her head back, trying to relax as the bus pulls out of the parking lot and back to the middle school. Nobody noticed the empty spot in the back where two boys should be sitting. Its like they never even existed in the first place.
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Old 05-14-2017, 07:20 PM View Post #2 (Link)
WordWizard (Offline)
Novice Writer
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 10
Points: 5.41
Times Thanked: 2
Originally Posted by ac_writer View Post
This short story is based off a dream I had, I hope you enjoy.
.................................................................................................... ................................................

"Hey wake up, we're almost there!"

Wyatt awoke with a start as his best friend, Rolland, abruptly shook him awake. Stretching his arms, Wyatt squinted at Rolland with what was half a smile and a yawn. As he continued to stretch, he could hear their other classmates chattering excitedly with one another on the bus. Glancing towards the window, Wyatt could see cars flash by like lightning, and the blur of trees as the bus rumbled towards its destination.

"So whats the plan when we get to this year's carnival," asked Wyatt, "ride all of the most scariest and craziest rides they have?"

"Like you even have to ask," replied Rolland, grinning his known cat-like grin.

Every year when the carnival came into town, it had been tradition for the two best friends to ride the wildest rides that the carnival provides. Wyatt smiles, remembering the fun times they shared, screaming with glee, and sometimes after the ride, throwing up. Although neither of them regretted it. They both loved the carnival rides, and each new ride that carnival brings year after year is always a treat.

Just as Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, the bus took a sharp left and pulled into the busy parking lot that stood just outside of the carnival. Causing Wyatt to forget what he wanted to say. He turned towards the window and peered out at the families, couples, and other school children that were making their way to the front entrance. Glancing up, Wyatt could see the many towering rides, enticing him.

"Man oh man, I can't wait to see what new ride they have this year!"

Chuckling, Wyatt turned his head back towards his best friend.

"That's what you say every year," Wyatt jokingly answers.

"Well its true! Aren't you excited too?"

Wyatt just grinned in response. He couldn't lie even if he wanted too. They both knew each other too well.

The bus suddenly lurched to a stop, and their teacher, Mrs. Quack, stood up at the front of the bus. Facing towards her students, she gave roll call and droned on about the rules they needed to follow before they could go inside. Wyatt was not really listening though as he tapped his foot in quiet impatience. He had heard the rules so many times, that he could recite them by heart if anybody asked him to do it.

Finally, for what felt like hours, Mrs. Quack finished with her usual line, "Everyone, make sure to meet back at the bus later today. And don't forget to have fun!" She quickly stepped out of the way as thousands of children rocketed themselves off the bus and towards the carnival.

"Come on Wyatt, lets go!" whooped Rolland as he sprinted across the asphalt parking lot.

Wyatt started sprinting too, keeping a close tail on Rolland as they ran together towards the entrance. There, they handed their golden tickets to the man at the booth, who in return, handed them green wristbands. They continued inside, walking, as they placed their wrist bands on their right wrists. As they wandered around the carnival, the two best friends were in awe. Everywhere they looked, their was bright colors everywhere. From the thrilling rides to the fun carnival games, with their silly prizes up to win. They continued their journey, listening to the sounds of laughter and screams of joy, till Wyatt saw a sign that read, "New Ride, Right Here!"

"Check it out, there's the new ride," Wyatt said, pointing at the line that was slowly forming from a yellow and red carnival tent. They hurried over to the back of the line, both bouncing on their toes trying to see what the ride looked like, but the tent flaps were closed.

"I wonder what the ride will be like," wondered Wyatt aloud.

"Yea, especially since it seems to be a small one," Rolland responded.

Both of them eyed the tent with quizzical, but hopeful eyes as they steadily moved forward in the line. When it was their turn to step through the flaps, they didn't see a ride. However, they did see a huge hole in the ground and a carnival attendant standing next to it, looking bored.

"The new ride is a slide? Huh, that makes sense. I guess," said Rolland as he stepped forward to get in.

Staring at the hole gave Wyatt a weird feeling, like something was not right. He pulled Rolland back before he could get close to the hole.

"Rolland, wait... I don't think we should get in," whispered Wyatt, eyeing the hole, and feeling something that he could not exactly describe. Maybe fear? Or anxiety.

As if on cue, the attendant said, "You don't need to worry, it's perfectly safe. You just need to decide now whether you're getting in or not because you guys are holding up the line."

She pulled a piece of gum from her pants pocket, unwrapped it from it wrapper and slipped it into her mouth, chewing ,with her arms crossed, as she waited for them to make up their minds.

"This lady works for the carnival and if she says it's safe, then it's safe," Rolland says matter-of-factly.

"Besides, no ride has ever gotten the best of us, so why should a slide be the first?"

"You're right, laughed Wyatt. Why should he be worried at all, it's just a slide. He shook off the bad feelings,"Let's do it."

"Whoop de doo, they finally made a decision," the attendant sarcastically said, "Now please sit at the edge and slide down."

Before he turned back towards the hole, Rolland gave Wyatt a mock salute with his cat-like grin to match. Then he turned back and sat at the edge of the hole, just as the attendant instructed.

"See you later Wyatt!" called Rolland as he slid down out of view, his voice echoing.

Wyatt tentatively stepped towards the hole and sat at the edge. It looked so dark, and by the echo of his friends voice, it must be pretty deep. The feeling of fear creeped back. However, the attendant gave him no more time to hesitate by pushing him into the hole.

"Have a fun trip!" She yells down to Wyatt. As he fell, he could hear her cackling laughter echo around the hole.

Wyatt kept sliding farther down, and moving faster by the minute, until he could not even see the little circle of light above. It was all darkness. Wyatt had never felt more scared in his life. He couldn't even bring himself to scream. All he could bring himself to do was hold his hands over his eyes and pray that this ride would come to an end soon.

Soon after he thought this small prayer, he fell out into a crumple on a hard dirt packed floor.

"Wyatt!" Rolland yelled as he helped him up, "You ok?"

"Yea, I'm fine," Wyatt answered while wiping off the dust that caked his arms, legs, and clothes.

"By the way, thanks for waiting for me," said Wyatt smiling, as he continued to tidy himself.

"No problem, I would have waited for you anyways. The only problem is that... I don't think we can get out," croaked Rolland.

Wyatt freezes, his hands on his knees. He does not look at Rolland till he is standing upright. When he does, he see's that Rolland is not only covered in dust like himself, but he also looks scared. Really. Scared.

"What do you mean? Isn't there an exit with stairs or something?" panic struggling to climb up Wyatt's throat as he asks the question.

"Wyatt, everyone who had come down this hole is still here, don't you see them?"

Wyatt looked around, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. Soon he's able to see a lot of people, some looking confused, others annoyed, but most looked just as scared as he feels right now.

As he looks around Rolland shakily says, "I looked around the whole area, but there is no way out. Even the hole we went through is gone. I talked to some people, and they said that they had been here for hours, but they don't actually know for sure."

Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, but to say what. Give assurance to his best friend that everything will be ok? That it will all work out? He never got the chance to speak because all of a sudden, the earth started shaking like mad.

It was a mess. People were screaming, running and shoving against each other. Wyatt gripped Rolland's arm in a death grip and pulled him to the edge. They held each tight throughout the chaos. Wyatt glimpsed up and saw a huge hole forming on the other side of them. He at first felt relieved. There was a way out, this ride must be just to scare people. He continued feeling.

This was short lived, however, when a giant monstrous head popped his head out. It smiled a leering smile, opening it's mouth wide like a snake. It started swallowing people left and right. He could hear screams cut short and cracking sounds of people's bones being obliterated into dust.

"Oh my gosh..... we got to get out of here!" screamed Rolland when he saw the monster.

He staggered upright and tried to run off, but Wyatt pulled him back just a large chunk of the ceiling crashed down. Causing an enormous wave of dust to wash over them.

Coughing, Wyatt peered into the dust and freezes in shock. The monster was only a foot away from them. Its neck stretching and twisting as it moves towards us, slowly opening its mouth. It was both memorizing and horrifying. Wyatt could do nothing but cling to Rolland tight as the monster slowly closed its mouth around them.

...................................................... (At the end of the day)

"Ok, is that everyone?" Mrs. Quack asked as all the students boarded the bus. Her eyes lazily looked over the children as they climbed in one by one. "That must be everyone," she thought to herself as she staggered onto the bus and plopped herself onto the front right seat.

"ugh, I need a Tylenol. Maybe I shouldn't have rode the Disko'o," groaned Mrs. Quack quietly to herself as she laid her head back, trying to relax as the bus pulls out of the parking lot and back to the middle school. Nobody noticed the empty spot in the back where two boys should be sitting. Its like they never even existed in the first place.
(I love the story. I saw a few grammatical errors. Also, some of the wording could be improved. I like how it was based off of a dream)
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Old 06-08-2017, 02:03 AM View Post #3 (Link) The Carnival
Molly (Offline)
Literary Newbie
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: US
Posts: 6
Points: 20
Times Thanked: 1
Originally Posted by ac_writer View Post
This short story is based off a dream I had, I hope you enjoy.
.................................................................................................... ................................................

"Hey wake up, we're almost there!"

Wyatt awoke with a start as his best friend, Rolland, abruptly shook him awake. Stretching his arms, Wyatt squinted at Rolland with what was half a smile and a yawn. As he continued to stretch, he could hear their other classmates chattering excitedly with one another on the bus. Glancing towards the window, Wyatt could see cars flash by like lightning, and the blur of trees as the bus rumbled towards its destination.

"So whats the plan when we get to this year's carnival," asked Wyatt, "ride all of the most scariest and craziest rides they have?"

"Like you even have to ask," replied Rolland, grinning his known cat-like grin.

Every year when the carnival came into town, it had been tradition for the two best friends to ride the wildest rides that the carnival provides. Wyatt smiles, remembering the fun times they shared, screaming with glee, and sometimes after the ride, throwing up. Although neither of them regretted it. They both loved the carnival rides, and each new ride that carnival brings year after year is always a treat.

Just as Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, the bus took a sharp left and pulled into the busy parking lot that stood just outside of the carnival. Causing Wyatt to forget what he wanted to say. He turned towards the window and peered out at the families, couples, and other school children that were making their way to the front entrance. Glancing up, Wyatt could see the many towering rides, enticing him.

"Man oh man, I can't wait to see what new ride they have this year!"

Chuckling, Wyatt turned his head back towards his best friend.

"That's what you say every year," Wyatt jokingly answers.

"Well its true! Aren't you excited too?"

Wyatt just grinned in response. He couldn't lie even if he wanted too. They both knew each other too well.

The bus suddenly lurched to a stop, and their teacher, Mrs. Quack, stood up at the front of the bus. Facing towards her students, she gave roll call and droned on about the rules they needed to follow before they could go inside. Wyatt was not really listening though as he tapped his foot in quiet impatience. He had heard the rules so many times, that he could recite them by heart if anybody asked him to do it.

Finally, for what felt like hours, Mrs. Quack finished with her usual line, "Everyone, make sure to meet back at the bus later today. And don't forget to have fun!" She quickly stepped out of the way as thousands of children rocketed themselves off the bus and towards the carnival.

"Come on Wyatt, lets go!" whooped Rolland as he sprinted across the asphalt parking lot.

Wyatt started sprinting too, keeping a close tail on Rolland as they ran together towards the entrance. There, they handed their golden tickets to the man at the booth, who in return, handed them green wristbands. They continued inside, walking, as they placed their wrist bands on their right wrists. As they wandered around the carnival, the two best friends were in awe. Everywhere they looked, their was bright colors everywhere. From the thrilling rides to the fun carnival games, with their silly prizes up to win. They continued their journey, listening to the sounds of laughter and screams of joy, till Wyatt saw a sign that read, "New Ride, Right Here!"

"Check it out, theres the new ride," Wyatt said, pointing at the line that was slowly forming from a yellow and red carnival tent. They hurried over to the back of the line, both bouncing on their toes trying to see what the ride looked like, but the tent flaps were closed.

"I wonder what the ride will be like," wondered Wyatt aloud.

"Yea, especially since it seems to be a small one," Rolland responded.

Both of them eyed the tent with quizzical, but hopeful eyes as they steadily moved forward in the line. When it was their turn to step through the flaps, they didn't see a ride. However, they did see a huge hole in the ground and a carnival attendant standing next to it, looking bored.

"The new ride is a slide? Huh, that makes sense. I guess," said Rolland as he stepped forward to get in.

Staring at the hole gave Wyatt a weird feeling, like something was not right. He pulled Rolland back before he could get close to the hole.

"Rolland, wait... I don't think we should get in," whispered Wyatt, eyeing the hole, and feeling something that he could not exactly describe. Maybe fear, or possibly anxiety.

As if on cue, the attendant said, "You don't need to worry, it's perfectly safe. You just need to decide now whether you're getting in or not because you guys are holding up the line."

She pulled a piece of gum from her pants pocket, unwrapped it from it wrapper and slipped it into her mouth, chewing ,with her arms crossed, as she waited for them to make up their minds.

"This lady works for the carnival and if she says it's safe, then it's safe," Rolland says matter-of-factly.

"Besides, no ride has ever gotten the best of us, so why should a slide be the first?"

"You're right, laughed Wyatt. Why should he be worried at all, it's just a slide. He shook off the bad feelings,"Let's do it."

"Whoop de doo, they finally made a decision," the attendant sarcastically said, "Now please sit at the edge and slide down."

Before he turned back towards the hole, Rolland gave Wyatt a mock salute with his cat-like grin to match. Then he turned back and sat at the edge of the hole, just as the attendant instructed.

"See you later Wyatt!" called Rolland as he slid down out of view, his voice echoing.

Wyatt tentatively stepped towards the hole and sat at the edge. It looked so dark, and by the echo of his friends voice, it must be pretty deep. The feeling of fear creeped back. However, the attendant gave him no more time to hesitate by pushing him into the hole.

"Have a fun trip!" She yells down to Wyatt. As he fell, he could hear her cackling laughter echo around the hole.

Wyatt kept sliding farther down, and moving faster by the minute, until he could not even see the little circle of light above. It was all darkness. Wyatt had never felt more scared in his life. He couldn't even bring himself to scream. All he could bring himself to do was hold his hands over his eyes and pray that this ride would come to an end soon.

Soon after he thought this small prayer, he fell out into a crumple on a hard dirt packed floor.

"Wyatt!" Rolland yelled as he helped him up, "You ok?"

"Yea, I'm fine," Wyatt answered while wiping off the dust that caked his arms, legs, and clothes.

"By the way, thanks for waiting for me," said Wyatt smiling, as he continued to tidy himself.

"No problem, I would have waited for you anyways. The only problem is that... I don't think we can get out," croaked Rolland.

Wyatt freezes, his hands on his knees. He does not look at Rolland till he is standing upright. When he does, he see's that Rolland is not only covered in dust like himself, but he also looks scared. Really. Scared.

"What do you mean? Isn't there an exit with stairs or something?" panic struggling to climb up Wyatt's throat as he asks the question.

"Wyatt, everyone who had come down this hole is still here, don't you see them?"

Wyatt looked around, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. Soon he's able to see a lot of people, some looking confused, others annoyed, but most looked just as scared as he feels right now.

As he looks around Rolland shakily says, "I looked around the whole area, but there is no way out. Even the hole we went through is gone. I talked to some people, and they said that they had been here for hours, but they don't actually know for sure."

Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, but to say what? Give assurance to his best friend that everything will be ok? That it will all work out? He never got the chance to speak because all of a sudden, the earth started shaking like mad.

It was a mess. People were screaming, running and shoving against each other. Wyatt gripped Rolland's arm in a death grip and pulled him to the edge. They held each tight throughout the chaos. Wyatt glimpsed up and saw a huge hole forming on the other side of them. He at first felt relieved. There was a way out, this ride must be just to scare people. He continued feeling.

This was short lived, however, when a giant monstrous head popped his head out. It smiled a leering smile, opening it's mouth wide like a snake. It started swallowing people left and right. He could hear screams cut short and cracking sounds of people's bones being obliterated into dust.

"Oh my gosh..... we have to get out of here!" screamed Rolland when he saw the monster.

He staggered upright and tried to run off, but Wyatt pulled him back just a large chunk of the ceiling crashed down. Causing an enormous wave of dust to wash over them.

Coughing, Wyatt peered into the dust and freezes in shock. The monster was only a foot away from them. Its neck stretching and twisting as it moves towards us, slowly opening its mouth. It was both memorizing and horrifying. Wyatt could do nothing but cling to Rolland tight as the monster slowly closed its mouth around them.

...................................................... (At the end of the day)

"Ok, is that everyone?" Mrs. Quack asked as all the students boarded the bus. Her eyes lazily looked over the children as they climbed in one by one. "That must be everyone," she thought to herself as she staggered onto the bus and plopped herself onto the front right seat.

"Ugh, I need a Tylenol. Maybe I shouldn't have rode the Disko'o," groaned Mrs. Quack quietly to herself as she laid her head back, trying to relax as the bus pulls out of the parking lot and back to the middle school. Nobody noticed the empty spot in the back where two boys should be sitting. It's like they never even existed in the first place.

I really enjoyed this story, and I love that it was based on a dream you had! Your dreams are certainly a lot more interesting than mine!! I saw a few grammatical errors and a couple of places that words could be changed, but otherwise, very good and smooth writing! Keep up the good work!
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